Don't Be A Coward

I love meeting people who think brown-nosing to a half-ass title gives them authority. When I say love here, I mean a complex and strong dislike.

"Professionals" who believe adhering to all higher power will move up up the totem pole, but will fall down it rapidly. Once you get past the people above you, then you're dependent on the people that keep you there. The people who get you to a good position are rarely the people who keep you there. The people who keep you there are often the people that you stepped on to get where you're at. Your customers. Your clientele.

Brown-nosing doesn't make you likable or sociable. You're supposed to make the customer happy, but brown-nosing doesn't making customers happy. Why? Brown-nosing occurs with supervisors and bosses. If you will make your customers unhappy by making your supervisor happy because your nose in deep in boss-poop...you're doing something wrong. Brown-nosing is negative. Respect is positive. You can respect your superiors without offending anyone, especially your customers.

These types of people often think that because they gobble up everything their boss says, then everyone around and below them should as well. These types of people think that because they're too much of a coward to find a better way, to go around someone else's title, to be intelligent and efficient and think ahead...that everyone else is too. Don't be a coward. Be able to see peoples' bluff when their only reason for saying no to you is because their supervisor told them to. There's a bigger issue. The person you're dealing thinks that your problem makes them a problem to your supervisor. This isn't the case, really, it's this coward who is the aggravating your problem instead of alleviating it.

Always know that there is another way. When you think something is going wrong or that you're being cheated, either go above cowards or around them. Find another way. Find someone else that can help you. Don't waste you're time on these people after you've tried different options once. There is always another way. Cowards are only caution signs, not red lights. Get ready to rumble.

Matters of Life in Death

Death affects each living person in a different way. Some people look forward, others look back. Some get stuck in limbo, wondering how the rest of the world can move on when there has been such a great loss. Some people give up, some people give in. Some people talk it out, others mull it over.

I have never been incredibly shocked by death, even when I have lost someone unexpectedly. The first death I ever experience, I was about 2. The first one I remember, I was about 3. It is hard for me to understand why some shelter children from death. Throughout my childhood, many people died. grandmothers, uncles, aunts...all relatives that I was very close to. It is difficult for me to even call these people relatives because my love for them was and continues to be so great. I don't make this claim to say that I had a dark childhood, because I had a very happy and loving childhood. I am happy that I was introduced to death at a young age and taught that it is a part of life, literally. I had a fundamental understanding of how to cope in a way that worked for me, with loving people around me. Death is one of those things that I have always been able to talk about with my family. Not necessarily everyone, but I know that during those times, my family is my support system.

A college friend is experiencing her first encounter with death, three friends died in a car crash. They weren't drunk, they were just coming back from sushi. The loss has hit deeply, and she began to question life in ways that I may have years ago. I never considered that there are people out there who are not as comfortable with death and loss as I am. She questioned the "point" of life, if everything just falls to pieces in the end. She's battling with the idea of justice in life, because her friends were 20, 20, and 17. One was a father, one was in a rigorous and unique program and about to graduate high school, one was a hard working son. Losses like these are not fair, but the reason we care about them is because life matters.

The grief and hurt when losing someone is a blessing. It reminds us that life is precious because we make it so, because it matters. If there was a time that we could no longer feel these real, yet painful, emotions...that would be the day I would ask the heavens, "What's the point?"

I think my own relationship with loss and grief was a blessing, because I accepted losing my father at 15 one year before it happened. I understood that my father wouldn't live forever, and probably not even to see me graduate high school, when I was in eighth grade. Yes, it's difficult to come to such a realization at such a young age. But, it made me a stronger person and it allowed me to dedicate the time I had with my father, to him. And it allowed me to move on, after him.

Damn Pinocchio

the toymaker makes plenty
of those damn pinocchios
i'm searching for a real boy
sir, could you point the way to go?

i'm not interested in breaking hearts
or sailing the high seas
if there's a real boy out there
please send him "Priority."

Not a boy who knocks his knees
or walks by way of strings
but rather one with sweater pills
and a love for the imaginary

i'm not interested in boys who fib
or lie, or cheat, or steal
big noses aren't quite my thing
makes kissing an ordeal

wandering through this dusty store
i step over the figures and dolls
if there's a real boy out there
i trust he'll know to call

The (In)Famous Undergraduate Degree

I commend all of those young (and older) citizens for making it through the years of late night study Power Hours and draining research papers in order to achieve the great, the fabulous, and the sometimes-haughty undergraduate degree. It doesn't matter if you wizzed through in three years or spread it out over more, the end result is the same. Congratulations! Now, let me tell you that unless you want to be an engineer or MD, your major really doesn't matter. Actually, the fact that you have that B.A. or B.S. doesn't set you apart at all...as much as you and your loans may argue it should.

New graduates are everywhere because, as if you haven't heard it enough, this economic downturn has shredded the job market to pieces. The problem is, a greater number of people are using this situation as an excuse as to why they're unemployed. The sooner people realize that they wont be working anywhere near their "dream job" for five to ten years after receiving a bachelor's, the sooner they will get a job and make money to live on TODAY.

The purpose of the undergraduate path is to hone thinking skills and help stabilize the workforce using intellect. It doesn't make a big difference if you majored in philosophy, anthropology, or poli sci. What matters is how you use your knowledge and apply it to whatever your employer needs. 

There are some exceptions. An undergraduate who proves that they have these skills before they even receive their degree has a competitive advantage over others. These students have often interned at multiple companies, businesses, etc. related to their interests. They have made superb impressions at the internships, they have work to show, and they have networked outside of the common "Professor Recommendation." A lot of this involves social maturity and a willingness to cut some of the college humor in order to gain office happy hour. The undergraduate who can look at the long term and take advantage of every opportunity, even if it's not part of the Golden Plan, is the one who's going to make it.